While I do not usually post things so detailed about my life, I must work this one out of my brain somehow. I have a good dear friend who I have known for more then seven years, and we have seen each other though thick and thin. There were times where we had what I will call an almost relationship… a relationship that was put on hold because of distance. About two years ago he did something stupid and awful that involved lying and smashing my heart and my trust in him to a million little pieces, and I broke all contact with him. Very recently I have gotten back in touch with him, I went for a long time with just the strongest feeling that I needed to talk to him. We talk almost every night now, and save a few awkward moments and a little less flirting, it is almost as if we had never stopped. While I was talking to him tonight, he told me something, and I really do not know how to take it, especially since he has a girlfriend.During the time we were not talking, apparently he wanted to find me… and propose… before someone else beat him too it. Pardon me, but how the HELL am I supposed to take that now? Our conversation ended shortly after on an awkward note and a promise that he would call me within the next few nights… I suppose I have this time to try and figure out what I think of… everything. It is hard for me to recall a time when I have been so conflicted. If anyone, random strangers and all, has any advice, words of wisdom, mind altering drugs that make you forget only pre-selected memories… It would be greatly appreciated, thank you.